11 Months 10 Days

Wow, these last few weeks have really flown by! I guess that's what happens when your head and heart are so full of emotion. On June 6, Logan and I went to my friend Tessa's baby shower. He was playing with all the girls I work with, and crawling around with Mason and Dylan, Kara's boys. He was having a great time!
On Sunday, I realized that I saw a lump in his scrotum again. I knew right then in my heart that his tumor had come back. I thought it had during his 9 month appointment in April, but the doctor thought it was probably scar tissue so I didn't worry about it.
Since it was already almost time for our checkup with the surgeon anyway, I decided to call first thing Monday morning. Well the morning rolls around, and when I went to change his diaper, he had not peed all night. I knew that was very bad because Logan will fill an entire diaper over the course of the night since he finally sleeps through. As soon as the surgeon's office opened, I gave them a call. They squeezed us in at 10:45am. We got in to see Dr. Pohlson, and she was very concerned that he wasn't peeing. She immediately sent us to the best pediatric urologist in town (well, right outside!) because she thought he needed a catheter. She also thought that he might be admitted to Mary Bridge that day. Nick and I were both extremely worried, and upset, as I'm sure most every parent would be. We thought we were done with this!
So we run home and pack a little overnight bag just in case. I didn't want to be stuck without a bag if we had to get Logan to the hospital. Then we drove out to Puyallup to meet with Dr. Ghandi.
Right away, I liked our new doctor. He was very thorough, and quick! He checked Logan's bladder and there was only 1 oz. of urine in it (he had finally been able to pee a little!) so we opted not to do a catheter. Thank goodness!
Then he did a physical examination. Logan's tumor was back in full force. He could feel them, and told us it was in three different places. One above and one below the urethra, and then one near the testes. He wanted to get us into surgery as soon as possible.

What?! 2 days ago, my son was a healthy little boy, playing with his little friends!

So he tried to get us in on Tuesday, but they were booked. So we scheduled for Thursday morning. The rest of the week until his surgery, Logan was becoming more and more agitated. I kept alternating Motrin and Tylenol to keep him out of pain, and we monitored wet diapers very closely. His tumor was growing so fast, you could literally see the difference in just a couple of days. It was also blocking the lymphatic vessel which caused a lost of swelling and discomfort.

So Thursday morning, we had to be at the hospital at 7:30am. Logan played with some toys and flirted it up with the nurses a little bit, but he was very hungry (couldn't eat formula since midnight, but hadn't had any since 7pm), and getting very tired. At about 8:45, they gave him a medicine that made him really loopy. He was talking to the wall, couldn't keep his eyes open, and when he reached for something, he couldn't tell where it was. We have a video I'll post of it soon.

At 9, Dr. Ghandi and the anesthesiologist came in to answer questions. Because everything had been a whirlwind on Monday, I had a whole list that Nick and I compiled. Dr. Ghandi didn't mind, and answered everything we wanted to know. Have I said how much I like him?

At 9:30 on the dot, a nurse came and took Logan from me. She didn't let us say goodbye to him and I was so upset!! I wanted to chase her down the hallway and give my baby a kiss, but she walked too fast.

We went up to the waiting room where Dad, Doug and Martha (inlaws), Dad's pastor Heather, and my friends Jeanene and Noelle were waiting. Little did we know we'd be waiting for a long time! At 10:30, the volunteers phone rang. It was for us. My heart dropped. I was so scared to answer the phone, but I knew I had to be strong for my little boy. I answered it and thank God, it was only the nurse giving me an update (everything was going great), and telling us they'd give us another call if it went on for another hour.

I wasn't expecting a phone call at all, because the last surgery only took 45 minutes or so. It must be standard procedure, but it wasn't one we were prepared for! At 11:30, I am sitting waiting for a call. The volunteer says that Dr. Ghandi will be up in a few minutes so she puts us in a smaller private waiting room instead. Nick and I leave everyone and go wait in there.

It feels like an eternity, and Nick and I are seriously feeling ill at the moment. I looked at the garbage can and contemplate moving it closer to us just in case because that is how nervous we were. Finally, Dr. Ghandi comes in about an hour later. Why we sat in there so long I don't know.

He said they'd just finished closing him up and that he thought they were able to get it all. He recircumcised Logan, and then he had 2 other incisions as well. Poor guy.

We finally got to go down to recovery at 1:15, almost 4 hours since we'd seen him! The PACU (pediatric ambulatory care unit) was completely full, so we had to wait in the recovery room with him. He was passed out. They had given him some Demorol for the pain because he was definitely hurting. That was very hard sitting in that room, because we had to listen to a lot of other babies and young children waking up and crying after their surgeries. It broke my heart. Finally, about 1:30 or so, we got a room back in the PACU.

We were waiting for Logan to pee, and then they were going to send us home. I already didn't feel comfortable with that, because Logan's incision looked SO bad. At about 3, Noelle and I were the only ones in the room, and the nurse came in to check to see if he'd peed. A couple of minutes prior, Logan woke up absolutely screaming, and then fell back asleep in about two minutes. So the nurse opens up his diaper, and it was full of blood. Oh my God. I was so scared and upset. My poor baby! They paged Dr. Ghandi who was in another surgery and we had to wait for him to get out.

Finally, at about 4, he came in and explained that it was more than likely a blood clot that came out. He could see on my face that I really wasn't comfortable with leaving, so he asked me if I wanted us to stay, and I said yes. He immediately changed the orders. Have I mentioned I REALLY like this doctor??

So Nick, Doug and Martha left to go get some stuff for us to spend the night, and Noelle had to leave to go pick up Syris. Logan and I waited around in the PACU until 6:30 when they finally got us a bed in the regular ward.

The nurses in the ward were very nice. They brought in a chairbed for me to sleep in, and kept making sure we were ok. Not just Logan, but me too. About 3am, Logan had another blood clot with a diaper full of blood. I was so scared again, and I am so glad we spent the night! He was also running a fever of 101, so he received two doses of antibiotics through his IV.

The next day, around noon, Logan finally woke up from his anesthesia/pain med sleep. At about 4, Dr. Ghandi came back in and we went over discharge paperwork. He was explaining what we would need to come back in or call for, and then he said this "Listen to your Mommy intuition, as long as I've been a doctor, I've found that that is 99% right. But maybe it was my mom who told me that soooo...". I was so happy. To have a doctor actually say that was so awesome!

Anyway, so we took Logan home, and he has been steadily recovering. He was crawling around that night. He ended up sleeping in our bed for a few nights. One of us would take the couch and the other would sleep with Logan. By the Wednesday after the surgery, he was off the pain meds all together.

Sunday, Father's Day, he took his first steps. He walked from his toy to me which was about 3 steps.

Monday, I took him in for his post-op appointment and Dr. Ghandi said everything was looking great. We go in again on July 15, and he will be able to feel and hopefully tell us that it hasn't started growing again. Then we will be going every month until Dr. Ghandi and I feel comfortable graduating to longer time periods.

I am so grateful that we were placed in such excellent hands. He has been so proactive in Logan's treatment and recovery. I'm SO happy.

Now, we are trying to plan a first birthday party! Wow!! He can't be almost a year already, right?

Holy Moly!

Well, Logan is almost 11 months old now. Can you believe it? I surely can't. The time has flown by all too quickly it seems. He's such a big boy now! He's almost walking.. I'm sure by the time he's one he'll at least be taking a few steps. He is such a funny little kid. He's definitely got his daddy's personality, that's for sure! He laughs at everything, and now he's started trying to scare people. He will sit in his highchair and pretend to be asleep and then throw his hands in the air and go "ahhh!". He cracks me up. He also makes this face where everything is scrunched in together and then he wheezes!

He's eating a lot more food now, most of the time we just give him a little of whatever we are having. If we don't, we better watch out!

He loves to wrestle too. If Daddy or I (or both of us) are laying on the floor, we better be prepared for a pummeling of little body. He has absolutely no fear of anything. Not strangers, jumping of the bed, falling over toys or Mom and Dad.

For Memorial Day weekend, we were so lucky that we got to fly out to Colorado to see Amanda and my Mom. Amanda graduated High School (tears) and was the salutatorian of her class. Her speech made me bawl. She graduated with a class of 30 people (a lot different than my 350!!) and they took the time to say very nice things about each graduate. The graduate also got to write a thank you list that the announcer read. When they got to Amanda's, she made me cry so much (I think you can hear it on the video lol). She thanked Dad for being her hero, and I would just like to say right now that I feel the same way and that we all bawled for that. Then she thanked me for always knowing how to cheer her up. That was so sweet and I was really very touched by it. She also thanked Mom for being a good mom.

Logan did remarkably well during the trip. It was his first ever airplane trip and he was such a good little boy. On the way there we were traveling with my Dad, grandparents, aunt and uncle. Logan slept for part of the way and then ate and played with toys the rest of the time. Everyone on the plane commented how good he was!!

On the way home, I was a lot more nervous as I was traveling by myself with him. Grandma Dee and Grandpa Don took us to Denver (3 hours from Mom's), and Grandma Dee helped me get on an earlier flight since we were there so early and then took me to security. Thanks guys!!

We were delayed for an hour due to tornadoes in the area, yikes! The airport kept closing intermittently so they plane we were waiting to arrive took awhile to land. We finally got on the plane and then it took about another 45 minutes to actually take off since there were a lot of planes waiting. Logan got a little fussy in the airport but we walked in his stroller a lot and he finally fell asleep right before we got on the plane. He slept nearly the whole way home.

Before he fell asleep though, he made a little girlfriend. It was too cute. There was a little girl named Holly who was only 2 weeks older than Logan. They played ball, and tried to explore each others faces. They also sat by the escalator together and pounded on the window when they saw people. They were on our flight too. It was nice for Logan to have a distraction!! Thanks Holly and your Mom and Dad (who I didn't get their names..)

All in all Logan was a very good boy. He was definitely ready to be home though. 4 days without his toys, space, and own bed really took a toll on him. But he's back to being a happy camper. I can't wait to get home. :)